Quite often quietness hits me every now and then, like an unexpected tidal wave where I just want to sit in silence. I find this common in introverted people and other quiet people. It does not mean I am sad or angry or feeling anything but nothingness and contempt whilst brewing something that’s probably not worth sharing aloud. A lot of people ask me “are you okay?” or claim “you’ve gone quiet” and ramble for the sake of filling the awkward silence I’ve created but I really think my mouth and capacity to talk has a clock or rather, a time bomb. The countdown to when I shut down is completely unanticipated and sometimes, I just like to hear other people talk instead if they have something interesting to say.
I hope one day to meet someone where I can just sit in melancholic peace and just listen to their voice and the lulling ups and downs and quirky gestures of softened hand movements each person holds differently. I hope they will just keep talking and not feel strange that I’m sat there in silence. I am listening, just really listening.